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MUČNI DETALJI

PRIJENOS UŽIVO: Aktivistica objavila svaku sekundu seksualnog zlostavljanja koje je doživjela

Amber Amour iz New Yorka otišla je u Cape Town kako bi promovirala svoju kampanju Stop silovanju kad joj se dogodilo najgore iskustvo u životu.

Aktivistica i žrtva silovanja Amber Amour podijelila je intimne detalje svog stravičnog iskustva sa svojim pratiteljima na Instagramu. Ističe kako je odmah znala da nikada ne bi mogla tajiti takav događaj i patiti u tišini.

Kako se sve odigralo

Sve se dogodilo u Cape Townu u kojeg je 27-godišnja aktivistica doputovala kako bi promovirala svoju kampanju Stop silovanju. Obrazujte se koja se održavala tijekom studenoga. Tamo ju je navodno napao muškarac imena Shakir nakon što je pristala tuširati se zajedno s njim. Nakon što je silovana, Amber je na Instagramu objavila selfi na kojem plače pod tušem i napisala detalje stravičnog iskustva.

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It was only a few minutes ago but sometimes these things happen so fast it's hard to remember all the details…. I've been sick for the past 2 days and today was my first day out. I went back to my old hostel to leave a note for a friend, Nick. There was another guy there, Shakir, who was desperately trying to get with me. I kissed him once but he seemed drunk so I told him it was bad timing, I had already met someone. Before heading out, I went upstairs to say hi to one more friend, Clyde from the states. Shakir followed me upstairs and said he was going to take a shower. He invited me to join. I said yes because the water at my current hostel is pretty cold and after 2 days of being sick, I just really wanted a hot shower. As soon as I got in the bathroom, he forced me to my knees. I said "stop!" but he just got more violent. He lifted me up and put his penis in my vagina. I asked him to stop, again, as I began to cry. When he shoved it in my ass, that's when I passed out. I woke up a few minutes later and saw him trying to creep out the door. When he saw that I was awake, he came back to finish me off in the shower. I have all those fucked up feelings that we get after rape…shame, disgust, suffering. I'm here, alone, and any DNA has been wiped away in the shower. The South African police will just roll their eyes when I walk in. Feeling sicker than ever now. Needless today, I'm going to disappear for a bit. Just need to enjoy the freaking sun and call my friends and family in the states. Love you guys. Thank you for always being there for me. All the more reason to continue @stoprapeeducate but not today. Today, I need rest. #StopRapeEducate

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Tog se dana vratila u svoj stari hostel kako bi se javila prijatelju Nicku, a bila je i bolesna. Naletjela je na Shakira, koji je odsjeo u istom hostelu i on joj se nabacivao, no nakon što ga je poljubila, shvatila je da je pijan.

Popela se na kat kako bi pozdravila prijatelja, a Shakir ju je slijedio i upitao bi li se htjela tuširati s njim. Kako je prethodne dane provela u krevetu zbog trovanja hranom i očajnički joj je trebao tuš, Amber je pristala.

“Pristala sam jer je voda u novom hostelu gdje sam bila jako hladna i nakon što sam bila bolesna zaista mi je trebao vrući tuš. Nakon što sam ušla u kupaonicu, natjerao me da kleknem. Rekla sam mu da stane, ali to ga je samo razdražilo i postao je još nasilniji. Podigao me i stavio svoj penis u moju vaginu. Molila sam ga da prestane i počela plakati. Onesvijestila sam se kada mi ga je gurnuo u guzu”, napisala je uz fotku.

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I feel such serenity when I'm nude in nature. ☀️I used to hate my body. I damaged it severely with drugs, alcohol, cutting, and making unhealthy sexual choices. I want you to know you don't have to cope that way. You are divine. You are infinite. You are worth all the love in the world. Thank you @hyomie for this amazing photoshoot in South Africa. 🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 #AmberAmour #AmberTheActivist #freedom #model #modeling #photoshoot #liberation #humanitarian #humanrights #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #southafrica #African #nature #natural #girlpower #feminist #feminist #bodypositive #freethefuckingnipple #blackandwhite #goddess #namaste #loveandlight #listen #serenity #meditation #love #peace #StopRapeEducate

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Nakon stravičnog iskustva

Objasnila je i svoje osjećaje nakon zlostavljanja.

“Osjećam sram, gađenje… Ovdje sam sama i svi DNK dokazi su uništeni zbog tuša. Da ga sad odem prijaviti južnoafrička policija bi me izbacila van. Nikad mi nije bilo ovoliko mučno”, bila je iskrena.

Sljedećeg je dana otišla kod liječnika i objavila fotku s pregleda. Mnogi od ljudi koji su komentirali krivili su Amber za silovanje zato što je pristala otuširati se s nepoznatim muškarcem.

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My view of the rape kit. Thank you all for being so loving & supportive during this time. Your messages pushed me to take action and to stand up for myself and for all rape survivors. For those who wish to BLAME ME or any other survivor out there, I want you to know that you are the very reason that I am so brutally honest. I could have hidden details. I could have kept some info to myself, but NO. You need to know the truth and to see the reality of the situation. No matter what a person does, it is not an invitation for rape. It doesn't matter if I kissed him. It doesn't matter if he was drunk. It doesn't matter if I said yes to a shower. I never said he could get violent with me. I never said he could make me bleed. I never said he could rape me. But still, that's how the scene went down. I don't need to explain myself but if you're wondering WHY I took a shower with him, it was written in the text, I'd been sick with food poisoning for 2 days and needed to sweat it out. My current place of residence has only cold water (third world problems are real!) and it seemed like a miracle to be offered a hot shower. That's not what he was there for though, because as soon as he got a chance, he threw me to the ground and had his way. Dealing with rape is hard enough but the aftermath is often even more traumatic but I did this for you and I did this for me. The US Embassy and the South African police are super supportive and he may be arrested as soon as this week. Thank you for the love. And for the victim blamers, I send love, peace, and enlightenment to you so that you may be a beacon of light for us, too. #StopRapeEducate #AmberAmour #AmberTheActivist #SouthAfrica #humanitarian #healing #education #africa #survivor #sexualassault #recovery #victimblaming #overcome #rapeculture #staystrong

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‘Ti si kriva!’

“Bez obzira što osoba napravi, ona nikad ne poziva nekog na silovanje. Nije bitno jesam li ga poljubila ili ne. Nije bitno je li bio pijan. Nije bitno jesam li pristala otuširati se s njim. Nisam mu rekla da me može povrijediti, silovati i biti nasilan. Ali, to se ipak dogodilo”, odgovorila je na komentare.

Amber je također podijelila neke od poruka koje je primila u kojima je ona ta koju napadaju zbog silovanja – i to uglavnom žene.

Istaknula je kako je svoju kampanju osnovala jer nije zadovoljna načinom na koji je policija vodila istragu o zlostavljanju kojem ju je podvrgnuo njezin bivši cimer, a kako bi naglasila važnost razgovora i dijeljenja takvih iskustava na društvenim mrežama redovito objavljuje svoje gole fotke na društvenim mrežama.

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Since I got raped last month, I've been spending more time naked in public with strangers. (Yes, you heard that right!) 💯 Not only do I enjoy the freedom I feel being nude in nature, but it's also to prove the point that nudity does not equate to sex or rape. I skinny dipped in a few waterfalls and swam naked at night in the Indian Ocean. I was with men & women from different backgrounds and ages and GUESS WHAT? I didn't get raped. 🙌 This proves the point that clothing/nudity do not cause rape, only rapists do!! The man who attacked me would have done so regardless. I didn't even take my clothes off to take the shower, he destroyed them leaving them bloodied. 🛁 So to answer the question "What kind of woman takes a shower with a guy who is not her boyfriend?" (Stop assuming I'm straight, btw.) The answer is I DO! I'm a liberated, body positive naturist. If I want to swim or shower with a stranger, that's exactly what I'll do! Most people are not rapists. Most people have self control. I'm not putting myself in "dangerous situations" I'm being the change I wish to see in the world: a world where women are safe and free to live how they please! By exposing the female body in a non-sexual way, we systematically desexualize it. So, I'm gonna keep rocking birthday suit which reminds me: My birthday is in 3 days!! 🎉 Photo by @nateynukez 🌸🍃🌸🍃🌸🍃🌸🍃🌸🍃🌸🍃🌸🍃🌸 #AmberAmour #AmberTheActivist #nature #nudism #model #modeling #feminism #feminist #yesallwomen #humanrights #freethefuckingnipple #girlswithdreads #CreatingConsentCulture #bodypositive #bodypositivity #effyourbeautystandards #birthdaysuit #girlpower #goddess #naturelovers #naturism #wildwoman #skinnydipping #freedom #StopRapeEducate

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Self-compassion is a process, especially if you've been abused, bullied, or raped. How do you build yourself back up after you've been torn down?… You may ask… I say there are many ways to build your confidence & self-image. First, you must break free from the abuse and surround yourself with people that love & support you. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's so easy to blame yourself and to self-destruct but you don't deserve the abuse from others, nor from yourself. Next, start living from your spirit. Do anything any everything that makes you happy: be creative, work toward your dreams, make music, sing, dance, play, spend lots of time in nature. Drop bad habits. Stop caring and just start living. Fuck the beauty industry. You don't need to do anything to be "prettier"; you are already perfect. Go follow @natnatperez the woman behind the camera. We need more feminist photographers and she is phenomenal!!! ☀️💜☀️💜☀️💜☀️💜☀️💜☀️💜☀️💜☀️💜☀️ #StopRapeEducate #ambertheactivist #AmberAmour #feminism #feminist #womensrights #humanrights #equality #queer #model #modeling #ukulele #girlswithdreads #loveandlight #love #happy #namaste #art #music #girlpower #girlboss #success #survivor #peace #happyhippie #positivity #revolution

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