DRUGAČIJI PRISTUP

JE LI STVARNO ‘LIJENA I LOŠA MAJKA’? Laura (33) kaže kako njezina kći (4) još uvijek nosi pelene, a razlog je posvađao internet

Kada je krajnje vrijeme da djeca nauče ići na kahlicu? Mišljenja roditelja se uvelike razlikuju

Ova majka troje djece iz Melbournea, čija četverogodišnja kći i dvogodišnji sin još uvijek nose pelene, kaže kako ih neće učiti na kahlicu sve dok oni ne bude potpuno spremni za to. Australka Laura Mazza (33) svojom je kontroverznom odlukom navukla bijes društvenih mreža.

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“Recovery” from mental health looks like having supports in place when you feel yourself slipping. It’s utilising resources to get you back on your feet It’s asking for help. It’s also having bad days and knowing they’re not the end It’s also crying, wanting to be alone, and isolation. Healing or recovery is not linear. Mental illness IS an illness. You can’t click magic fingers and be in a better place, or snap yourself out of it. There are levels to how it’s a part of you. If you identify as recovered, know that you are allowed to have bad days and even horrible days, and doesn’t mean you’ve gone off path It means your human. An imperfectly perfect human.

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Mazza je otkrila kako je od drugih roditelja dobivala negativne komentare i neodobravajuće poglede kada bi priznala da njezina djeca još uvijek nose pelene. U jednoj svojoj objavi na društvenim mrežama, 33-godišnjakinja je izrazila nezadovoljstvo nakon razgovora s medicinskom sestrom.

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my eldest Luca has absolutely loves homeschooling. *Insert MASSIVE EYEROLL AND SARCASM* Okay so yeah, he hates it. He hates his teacher (dad) and threatening him to the principals office (aka me) doesn’t work because I’m too soft and tired to give him detention. It equals extra work for me. And ain’t nobody got time for that! So I sent him outside, where he found some birds trying to peck at a caterpillar. He scooped it up and brought it to me. I am not the biggest fan of insects but I obliged him. He told me all about the life of caterpillars. What they eat and how they grow. He told me he wanted this caterpillar to live a little longer so it could become the beautiful butterfly it was meant to be. (Pretty sure this one was destined to be a moth) But I watched him express empathy as he gently placed it on a leaf out of the birds’ reach. He said to it “it’s okay little guy, you’ll be safe here.” And was talking to it with so much kindness and love. I realised that even though we weren’t “schooling” together, we were both learning. He learned about compassion and empathy and the importance of protecting even the most (disgusting) little things on this planet. And me? Well during this whole pandemic, I’ve lost the curiosity and joy for life that these children have. They have taught me to slow down and appreciate the little things, and that learning can also just be about exploring our own front yard. Smiling more is what’s most important in these weird times. So rest assured, even though they might not want to sit down right now and listen, your children will become the beautiful butterflies they were meant to be and guess who’s teaching them that? You are! After he went inside, the birds swooped in and I think they ate the caterpillar, proof that not everything needs to be taught to our kids too, 😂their innocence is worth keeping that little bit longer and maybe so is ours.

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Logičan slijed stvari ili roditeljska opsesija?

Bolničarka ju je, naime, nedavno nazvala kako bi provjerila je li James, njezin dvogodišnji sin, postigao svoje razvojne ciljeve. U razgovoru se, naravno, pojavilo i pitanje o pelenama i kahlici.

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When you see a new mum at your playgroup, and she stands away from everyone because she's new. Talk to her, because for her, she's come into a new environment where everyone has their own click, and she's overwhelmed, but she's come there to make friends because she wants to connect with other mums. She spent the morning rushing to get there, trying to look like she's got it together and that she's not petrified. Talk to her. Sure, she might not live in your area, go to your social events, be the same nationality, but that's the beauty of getting to know someone new. If a mother keeps cancelling on you, keep trying and tell her it'll be OK. She might be riddled with anxiety, your persistence could save her sanity and make her feel loved. If a mum smiles at you at the park, smile back. Talk to her, make a friend. You both don't have to feel alone. If your mum friend hasn't been herself lately, and doesn't want to do anything, go to her house, bring her some coffee and wine and chocolate, whatever, and tell her she's got this, tell her she's not alone. That no matter what motherhood throws at her, that you'll do it together. All these mums might have woken up today saying I can't do this, I have no one and I'm a failure, they might have been up all night with a restless baby, a teething toddler or whatever. They might think they are the worst mum in the world, but on a day where someone has given them some warmth, someone has given them a little encouragement and a little love, it'll make them feel like a million bucks. #wrotethisbeforecovid #stillappliesthough

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MLADA MAMA (18) NA UDARU ŽESTOKIH KRITIKA: Pazite čime hrani šestomjesečnu bebu; ‘Pa ugušit ćeš si dijete!’

“Provela sam sat vremena na telefonu govoreći medicinskoj sestri da je on genijalno dijete. Upravo se prilagodio životu kao treće dijete i brže je od svoje braće i sestara razgovarao i hodao. Rekla sam joj kako već priča, uvježbava empatiju, dobro svira, jede sam, sve te prekrasne stvari”, započela je Mazza.

“Pitala me je li naučen na zahod, a ja sam rekla da nije jer nije spreman. Onda mi je rekla kako bih ga trebala poticati, čitati mu knjige i staviti ga da sjedi na zahodu. Uglavnom, na sve načine bih ga trebala prisiliti. Postoji ta opsesija za prisiljavanjem djece da odrastu, hodaju, pričaju i odlaze na WC do određene dobi. Zašto?”, upitala je ova majka.

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I am never going to be the mother who is full of patience. I have yelled “do whatever you want.” And “in a minute!” More times than I’d like to admit. I’m never going to be the mum who never yells, who is all zen and sings kumbaya. Nope. I’m never going to be that mother who organises activities and can ace home schooling. 1 ice cream + 1 iPad = leave me alone. I’m never going to be the mum who says no to screen time. Or sugar. 😱 I am never going to be the mum who cooks from scratch 7 nights a week. Shit maybe not even 3. Same with housework. Never going to be that mum with a clean house daily. I try and it’s more for me and my anxiety. If anything. But kids. You get it. I’m never going to be the mum who prints out every photo and puts them in a frame I’m never going to be the mum who has a system to find all the socks. I’m never going to be the mum who doesn’t enjoy escaping to work and peeing alone. I’m never going to be the mother who doesn’t feel guilty or questions herself. To do that means I’m striving for the best. I know that. But, I’m never going to be the mum who lets anyone else make me feel guilty for any of it. I’m never going to succeed as a mum by continuously beating myself up for all of the above Because I have to remember that I’m always the mum who is affectionate with her children. I’m always the mum who tucks them in at night with a kiss (unless I’m out getting wild), I fill their bellies before I’d ever fill mine, I’m always going to be there for them and I’m always going to love them. Big unconditional love. And that makes me and you and every other mother who feels like she isn’t enough, more than good enough. ❤️❤️❤️

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Većina nauči između druge i treće godine

U nastavku je objasnila kako neće naučiti svojega sina da ide na kahlicu sve dok to ne savlada njegova starija seka Sofia. Ona tvrdi kako je jednom natjerala svoju četverogodišnjakinju da ide na zahod i od tada ga se boji, stoga ne želi više ništa raditi dok djeca to sama ne zatraže.

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I am an essential worker, so I feel I’m qualified to say that we we need to give a big round of applause to the essential workers of every day, mothers. Some of these mothers are “essential workers”, they are our doctors, our nurses, our cleaners, our chefs, our delivery drivers, our teachers. In addition to everything she is, or used to be professionally, she is mama. The keeper of schedules, of routines, the wiper of snotty noses. She’s the home schooler, the remote learner manager. She’s the thinker on her feet – all while trying to make her kids lives happier in such a trying time. She manages the boo-boo’s that need bandaids. The meltdowns, the tantrums, the referee who manages who had it first. The activity planner. The menu planner, she is the rememberer of who loves broccoli and who won’t have it near their plate. She’s the dishwasher, the packer away of toys lady. She’s the singer of the ‘happy birthday’ song to remind everyone how long to wash their hands. She is the rock and carries the weight of everyone’s problems. She is the provider of comfort, of security, of love and 3am cuddles. She is the worrier. Of everyone’s own problems and her own. She quietens everyone’s brain while hers ticks loudly. She bears the weight of it all. And never asks for any recognition. Her essential work is invisible, her work is invisible. It goes unnoticed but without it, things wouldn’t go as smoothly. So to all my mamas, the essential workers of the world, who never take a sick day and never bring home a pay check. I see you, and I salute you. Without you, your families world wouldn’t spin so soundly.

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Ista stvar bila je i s njezinim najstarijim sinom Lucom (6). Majka kaže da je on s četiri godine bio spreman krenuti samostalno na zahod te da je sam shvatio što mora napraviti. Laurina objava izazvala je burnu raspravu na društvenim mrežama. Dok su neke majke priznale kako se slažu s njezinim mišljenjem, druge su je nazvale “lijenom i lošom majkom”.

Prema NHS-u, neka djeca mogu se početi trenirati na kahlicu već u dobi od 18 mjeseci, neka nose pelene skroz do četvrte godine života, dok većina roditelja započinje s treningom između djetetove druge i treće godine, piše The Sun.

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